The Final Four Will Be Nuts

Texas Tech upsets Gonzaga, Virginia outlasts Purdue, Auburn stuns Kentucky, and Duke shits the bed and finally loses as Michigan State slaps their dick across the Blue Devils’ foreheads. These 4 teams cut the nets and are dancing into the most exciting playoff semifinals in all of sports. Continue Reading

Bama Played Like Dog Poop

Congrats to all the people who bet against Alabama last night, which is probably 95% of America. Bama is to college football what the Yankees, Patriots, LeBron James, and Duke are to their respective sports. People fucking LOVE when they get embarrassed. You love to hate any team or person that has the most success in their sport and that’s just human nature. Whether it’s out of jealousy or just straight hatred, that’s just sports for you. Bama has been the most consistent dynasty in sports besides the Pats, and they faced Jennifer Aniston and the Clemson Tigers in the title game. Easy win, right? Nope. The Tigers proved last night that the saying “You throw a football like a girl” is actually a compliment, their offense is the best in the FBS, and their destruction of Notre Dame wasn’t a fluke. They absolutely eviscerated Alabama’s defense on the ground and through the air. They held the Tide scoreless in the whole second half. Saban’s team choked harder than Stormy Daniels when she thought screwing Trump was a good idea. As of now, Clemson is the team to beat. And Trevor Lawrence is just gonna get better every year. All he’s gotta do is use some of his illegal paycheck he’ll receive next year to see a damn barber.

Plenty of Goodness on College Game Day

First off, I’ll just let y’all know I’m a Bama fan. Yeah I may be a bandwagon, but I’m from New England and I was at Bryant-Denny when the Tide completely shut down Fournette and paved the road for Derrick Henry’s Heisman season. So suck on that.

I saw most of the Bama-Tennessee game and I can honestly say Tua Tagovailoa is the most electrifying college quarterback to watch for me other than Kyler Murray. Those two stud muffins should be the 2 front runners for Heisman. Both guys led their teams to blowout victories against conference rivals and continue their spectacular seasons. A big win for Clemson against fellow ACC team NC State was also convinced me that they’ll end up in the playoffs. I believe they’ll round out the top 3 and the 4th spot is a big time toss up.

I really do hate the Big 10. I can’t fucking stand Michigan and their khaki-wearing, ugly-faced, couldn’t coach for shit in the NFL, head coach Jim Harbaugh. Penn State should change their name to Rape Coverup College. All of the schools in the Big 10 are basically located in states that could be nuked and the country could go about their lives not giving a shit. Except maybe Minnesota, Mall of America is dope. I especially hate OSU and most of the players that come out of there. They are THE worst. And seeing them get blown the fuck out by Purdue, a team that’s actually been playing well lately but still shit, was orgasmically satisfying. They’ll probably drop out of the top 5 and could potentially tarnish their season. I could maybe see Michigan being a top 4 team; although I hate them, you gotta love Karan Higdon. They beat MSU in a close game and was vital since they’ve literally been Michigan’s daddy in recent years.

The PAC-12 had some exciting contests as well, most notably Washington State upsetting the Ducks. Justin Herbert got outplayed by Gardner Minshew, who had 4 TDs opposed too Herbie’s 1. Tough blow for the stud junior gunslinger who’s put Oregon back into relevance. Washington beat Colorado behind an alright performance from Jake Browning, keeping them in the mix for a top 10 ranking. No other teams in the conference are ranked but Stanford has a chance solely because of Bryce Love.

Finally, here’s my favorite games from today:

Alabama 58 Tennessee 21 (Tua is a monster and a mother fucking stud)

Oklahoma 52 TCU 27 (Absolute destruction of arguably one of the shittiest mascots. Horned Frog, so ugly)

Temple 24 Cincinnati 17 (Nice little upset for the Owls)

Purdue 49 OSU 20 (Just kidding about the Horned Frogs, Buckeye is the worst mascot. Looks like a fat ugly potato but is called a horse chestnut. So much to hate about Ohio. They call soda “pop” and they have the city of Cleveland. Gross.)