Opening Day is just a few weeks away and I can smell the sweet scents of freshly cut grass and pine tar. Baseball season is upon us, and all the people who don’t care about it can slob on a knob. Following the recent free agent signings of Machad-hoe and Harper, we can finally start predicting how the season will go. This will be a lengthy blog, so stop reading now if your attention span can’t handle it.
This guy is a good dude. After wearing number 34 with the Nationals since 2012 he’s deciding to wear a different number after signing with the Phillies on a 13 year, 330 million dollar death sentence.
Let’s face it, dudes a great tight end HORRIBLE football announcer. Jason Witten seemed straight up umcomfortable as an NFL announcer, like a female jail nurse being left alone with prisoner Bill Cosby.
Hey everyone here’s me impersonating the Eagles “We have one QB on our team that can get us to the playoffs what should we do with him?” “Let’s get rid of him” “wow what a great idea let’s spit in each others mouths until we throw up”. That’s pretty much a direct quote and I’ll risk my life on that.
So? It was at a massage parlor. America was built upon the foundation that if you go to a massage parlor you can get some rub n tug action and feel no shame even if you’re crazy old and I will defend that freedom until I die.
Leveon Bell is officially free from the Steelers, as was his Hope, however where he ends up is still technically a mystery.
Manny Machado made his extremely anticlimactic free agency decision by choosing a 10 year, $300 million deal offered by the Padres, the largest free agent signing in MLB history. His other possible destinations were Philadelphia and Chicago (White Sox).