I Know Why Lil Dicky Had to Cancel His Recent Tour

So, from my groundbreaking investigative work I have found out the shocking truth. Lil Dicky is Colin Kaepernick. Or vice versa. Either way there’s a 100 percent chance they’re the same person, or their mom was loose with it. This is the only logical explanation, all I’m saying is I saw Lil Dicky perform at Springfield College one time and Kaepernick was nowhere to be seen. Coincidence? I think not. Lil Dicky had to cancel his tour not because he was working on the new album, but because he was too busy fighting for equality. I mean look at them, same fro, it just seems like Lil Dicky was slinging the ball for San Fran in blackface, and then spitting at college shows across the country. I mean I could be wrong but like I said earlier I have never seen them in the same room

Jori Lehtera Suspected in Finnish Cocaine Ring

So I know what you are thinking, is this part of the plot for a really shitty hockey movie, where the mighty ducks have to reunite to help stop Jori Lehtera from slinging cocaine to the Finnish people? Actually, now that I am reading it, I would 10/10 actually watch that movie. But anyways, bad look for the NHL veteran who is fighting for a roster slot, when a cocaine ring is broken up, it doesn’t look too good when its broken up in your summer home. The main thing we need to consider in this whole situation is this: these allegations only started to show up when a certain member of the team started. Gritty. The teams new mascot, that looks exactly like a muppet who deals crystal meth to truckers exclusively in Kentucky. If you want my take on it, Gritty is framing Lehtera for this, Gritty is Finlands new crimelord and he probably isn’t afraid to kill.

The New Roughing The Passer Rules Flat Out Suck

The picture above perfectly sums up any over the top analogy I could have ever used to describe how I feel about this idiotic rule. I have said it before and I will say it again this rule is ruining the NFL. You’re taking away a huge part of what makes the sport amazing which is monster defensive plays. I understand players need to be protected more than ever, with all the new information we are learning on a regular basis with how the sport of football, and head impacts players suffer can effect a players brain and the way it functions. However, we need a better solution than this, Clay Matthew’s hit on Sunday was a clean football hit, he did everything in his power to not hurt Alex Smith. This rule just opens up a chance for the QBs to start making hits seem way worse than they were (See JPP slapping Big Ben’s helmet and him tragically falling like his spine had been crushed by the impact). I feel like all of the NFL fanbase agrees with me on this, that the rule is detrimental to the sport of football. The NFL needs to find an alternative, and start researching other ways to protect the QB because right now they’re looking like weenie hut JRs in a big way. Leave a comment on your thoughts on this. I will be dropping a Ryder Cup blog once it kicks off, and I’ll drop one tomorrow for sure on the Rams game, reinforcing to you degenerates how much money I win in sports betting.

NFL Week 4 Picks

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Week 4 already? Football season goes by way too fast, I know its unrelated to this specific blog but professional football should be played year round, these guys are making millions of dollars a year, I’m sure they can manage. Alright, to start this off I am not going to write about every match up, I am only going to write about match ups that I am dropping some bucks on. Let’s start off with Thursday night football this week the Minnesota Vikings at the Los Angeles Rams, I just talked about how the rams are my lock for the NFC in the Superbowl, they are playing incredible football right now and I think Sean McVay and Jared Goff are capable of bringing them there. The Vikings on the other hand, just got blown out by the Buffalo Bills who going into week 3 were considered the worst team in football. I like the rams on this to exploit the Vikings defense and win by at least 10, I am putting money on the Rams with a -6.5 spread. Next game I want to talk about is the Cincinnati Bengals at the Atlanta Falcons, Falcons have a -5 spread for this and the Bengals still don’t have Joe Mixon to create an efficient running game, also AJ Green isn’t performing the way he normally does. The Falcons however just came off of a huge game, yes they lost but they put up some serious points on offense with Julio Jones and Calvin Ridley who is working his way towards a astounding rookie season and is the best rookie WR in the NFL right now. This games going to be tough fought for the Falcons with their defense facing so many injuries, but I think their offense right now is good enough to pull of at least a 6 point win so I am putting my money on the Falcons. Alright now coming up on my slap in the face spread of the week which is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at the Chicago Bears, The bears are a 3 point favorite. Exfuckingscuse me? The bears do not have the capability right now to do serious damage on offense, the hardest part of this game for Tampa Bay will be for the offensive line to keep Khalil Mack away from Fitzmagic. I’m not even going to show this spread any love, I’m betting the money line on Tampa Bay. Moving on to the Seattle Seahawks at the Arizona Cardinals, Seahawks are going to be playing against Josh Rosen, who is a rookie QB that I just don’t have any faith in, also when you call yourself the “Hebrew Hammer” I am going to naturally hate you, you have to earn that nickname bud and I’ll let you know when you  have done that. I am taking the Seahawks on -3 point spread, expect the Cardinals to still be winless going into week 5. Last Sunday night game we’re going talk about is the New Orleans Saints at the New York Giants. The Saints are favored at 3.5 against a New York Giants team that just looks like hot garbage, their only win of the season comes from a win they scraped together against the abysmal Houston Texans. Saquon Barkley and OBJ are absolute weapons, but when you have one of the worst Offensive lines in the league It doesn’t create many scoring opportunities. Now the Saints on the other hand looked spectacular last weekend in their overtime win against the Falcons, they have the ability to create countless scoring opportunities (expect an even deadlier offense in week 5 when Mark Ingram returns to the lineup) and their defense is going to tear into the Giants. Last game I am going to talk about is this weeks Monday night football game, the Kansas City Chiefs at the Denver Broncos. The Chiefs are favored at 4.5, I feel like this one just really speaks for itself. Now, I don’t know if Vegas is thinking of a different Kansas City Chiefs, but favoring them only by 4.5 is nuts, its tantamount to giving away free money because while Showtime Mahomes is slinging the ball for Kansas City, garbage teams like the Broncos just don’t stand a chance. Expect the Broncos to get destroyed like Lil Xans tummy after some flaming hot Cheetos. I am putting my money on the Chiefs it’s my lock of the week. There are some other really good games this week, but none that I feel confident putting money on. Give the twitter a fucking follow for the love of god @degensportsblog. Leave some comments on what you would like to see another blog post on today.

My Picks For The 2019 Superbowl

 

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Alright, I know this is usually done before the season starts, but I just started the blog so you can act just like OJ did with his wife’s death and get the fuck over it. Let me start by saying I am and always will be a pats fan, the Belichick-Brady dynasty is one of the greatest the sports world has ever seen, however I just don’t see them as of right now in the Superbowl. The AFC team I’m thinking right now has the be the Chiefs, they just look untouchable when you combine Tyreek hill, Kareem Hunt, Travis Kelce and showtime Patrick Mahomes you create an insanely deadly offense. You literally have 4 incredible players for their position all on the same team, Mahomes has nothing but weapons and they look like the sure pick for the AFC. Now on to the NFC, this one also is a very simple choice, the Rams. Jared Goff is playing really good football right now, combined with Todd Gurley who is one of the best backs in the league, you have a potent offense that will continue to stack teams onto their body count. The Rams defense also looks phenomenal right now, they’re my pick for the NFC. Now I didn’t just choose these teams because they’re 3-0 because they’re realistically going to lose at some point this season, I picked them because they’re offenses are both in my opinion, the most explosive in the league. I wont comment on who would this match-up but I can tell you I would put as much money as I had available to me at the time on the over. Like always give the twitter a fucking follow @degensportsblog I think i have like 2.5 followers on that thing. Leave a comment let me know your picks for the Superbowl.

Tiger Is Back!

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Tiger.Fucking.Woods. We got a rare treat this past weekend we got to see legacy Tiger, we got see see early 2000’s Tiger. Tiger came out and smoked the competition he is unarguably back. There’s people out there talking about “Oh well it isn’t a major so he isn’t really back” are you literally incapable of thought? Yes it was a 30 man tournament, but it was the BEST 30, It’s not like he went out and smoked amateurs, Tiger crushed the best in the game and that’s a huge accomplishment, Tiger showed this weekend that he’s capable of winning any tournament that’s coming at over 40 years old. If you look into it tigers already got the most wins, Snead’s 82 wins are impressive however some of them don’t even count as three of his wins come from a 36 hole tournament according to PGA tour policy for an event to be considered a tournament it has to be at least 54 holes. If you take this into account Tigers already won it and is the best to have ever played the game without an argument. However, if you don’t take the wins from Snead, Tigers going to win at least 3 more tournaments, Snead won the last one of his at 52. Tigers got a lot of golf left ahead of him and he’s going to crush this record and become untouchable. Congratulations Tiger Woods, enjoy banging every single Hooters waitress within 100 miles you stud.

Pittsburgh at Tampa Bay

Well let me just say, my bet on Tampa for the second half paid off, it may have saved me even, its not even Monday Night Football if I don’t place a second bet to cover my first. Let me start off by saying I’m going to use a good amount of Fitzpatrick puns, so if you don’t want to see those, well that’s too fucking bad. Fitzmagic still has got it, yes yes I know the Buccs still lost, but they did have a pretty glorious comeback  try and went for the Steelers throats. The first half of the game we saw a different QB, we saw Fitztragic, the guy that gets traded around the NFL like a pocket pussy on Blue Mountain State. However, Fitzpatrick went into the locker room and obviously had a meeting with his fairy god mother or some shit because Tampa almost formulated a comeback, and Fitz transformed back into Fitzmagic again. Tampa still looks really good, and I like them as a playoff team. Now lets talk about the Steelers, they pulled out the win and Le’veon Bell is going to get traded, James Conner is the man for the job and is literally being paid 200,000 dollars less for his whole season than Bell would make in a single game. This is a win-win situation, we’re going to see the Steelers save some serious money, and Bell is going to go to a team that needs him, and to be quite honest he’s going to have an insane performance on any team in the NFL. Want to give a shout-out specifically to Vance McDonald, who legitimately murdered Chris Conte with a  devastating stiff arm, and there’s never even going to be a trial. So from a fantasy standpoint I am winner this week, I had James Conner, JuJu(in the flex of course) and Mike Evans and I’m in a PPR league so you do the math on that one. I’ll do another blog later today probably on Tiger Woods being completely and unmistakably back, and maybe another one on the games i like this week and my picks, give the twitter a fucking follow you scum bags @degensportsblog