Josh Gordon Will Be Critical To Patriots Win Over Dolphins

Josh Gordon. The man who led the league in receiving yards in 2013. Everyone thought he was done at one point or another after the 2013 season, between his substance abuse problems, and finally getting cut by the browns two weeks ago, most people would think his career was towards its end, however I think this is where Josh Gordon will truly begin to shine. The Patriots have a system where tons of wide receivers have come and played excellent football, especially ones with very similar situations to Gordons, the Hall Of Fame Legend Randy Moss for example, who had his fair share of controversies before coming to the Patriots in the 2007 season. The Patriots have been in desperate need of a deep threat wide receiver, as the other receivers on the team haven’t been enough of a threat to opposing secondaries (obviously excluding Robert Gronkowski, who in the past 3 games has been at least double-covered, creating limited big play opportunities for the leagues best tight end). Josh Gordon has the potential shake up what looks like a very slow and ragged offense, and expect Gordon to really shine when Julian Edelman returns in week 5, creating a wide receiver situation that will be very similar to the Texans or Steelers current situation (Deandre Hopkins and Will Fuller, Antonio Brown and Juju Smith Schuster) where you have an incredibly talented Wide Receiver, coupled with a deep threat Wide Receiver which creates ample scoring opportunities. It’s still technically unknown if Gordon will be playing in week 4 or not, and if he does play, what kind of role he will have on the field. However, if Josh Gordon does get out on the field today against the Dolphins, expect a big performance from him, because he’s going out on the field to prove he is still relevant to the game of football.

Cole Beasley Straight Up Doesn’t Give A Shit

1

Wow. I mean Cole Beasley is straight up challenging the team to cut him with this. If I was a coach, I would cut him out of spite, but I am a petty asshole, one of the reasons I wouldn’t make a good NFL coach. On the other hand, Beasley kind of has a point here, the Coaching staff wouldn’t dare cut him, because quite frankly they cant afford to lose any of their WRs right now, the Cowboys just don’t pose any kind of a deep threat to opposing secondary’s and they need every player they have right now. But either way, throwing your opinion on how safe you’re on the teams roster in such a public format is never a good look. To quote one of the greatest dodge ball announcers to ever live “Thats a bold strategy cotton, lets see how it plays out for him”

Jerry Jones Is Now One Of The Dumbest Humans On Earth

 

Jerry Jones has just made potentially the dumbest statement of all time, that he sees similarities between the Rams and the Cowboys offenses…. Dementia has clearly set in early. Have you watched the Cowboys offense this year Jerry? The Cowboys offense shows more similarities to the gigantic floating pile of trash floating around the pacific ocean than it does to the Rams currently sterling offense. The Cowboys are 1-2 going into week 4, and are probably going to be 1-3 going into week 5, in all honesty their offense has no excuse to be as poor performing as it has been , seeing as they have one of the best backs in the league combined with the fact that they have a top 3 Offensive line in the league as of right now. The Cowboys have 41 points of combined offense going into week 4, and the Rams have 140 points combined offense with their week 4 game already out of the way. My advice to Jerry Jones would be this, maybe run stupid shit you’re going to say publicly by someone that knows whats going on with Football so that the whole internet doesn’t end up viewing you as a moron.

Rams 38 Vikings 31 AKA I Was Right

First off, I would like to say, if you got your bet in on time, and bet the rams at 6.5, you’re welcome. However, if you waited until the spread shifted to 7.5, that’s your fault you dumb idiot. Also, from the start I will show a bit of humility here (very rare because I am a prick) by saying that I thought the Rams would win by 10, they only won by 7. Also, the fact that the offense consisted of 3 players tonight, those players are Goff, Kupp, and Gurley. Plain and Simple, Goff played way above what I thought he was capable of tonight, by dropping some insanely accurate TD passes like this one below where Goff threaded the needle over 2 defenders heads into Kupps hands. Goff treated the defenders like they were irrelevant to the play.

I mean Goff is like fine wine, that’s aging 10 times faster than it’s supposed to. As they say: wine gets better with age (I wouldn’t know, I drink PBR and whatever else I can get my hands on for cheap). I Will say this, the Vikings played better than I would’ve gave them credit for coming into this game, and have redeemed themselves as a possible contention team for the superbowl. However, the Rams still look like the team that’s going to win the NFC, and possibly the superbowl. Give the Facebook and Twitter a follow. If you don’t, I’ll be sending my bookie after you to break some knee caps

I Know Why Lil Dicky Had to Cancel His Recent Tour

So, from my groundbreaking investigative work I have found out the shocking truth. Lil Dicky is Colin Kaepernick. Or vice versa. Either way there’s a 100 percent chance they’re the same person, or their mom was loose with it. This is the only logical explanation, all I’m saying is I saw Lil Dicky perform at Springfield College one time and Kaepernick was nowhere to be seen. Coincidence? I think not. Lil Dicky had to cancel his tour not because he was working on the new album, but because he was too busy fighting for equality. I mean look at them, same fro, it just seems like Lil Dicky was slinging the ball for San Fran in blackface, and then spitting at college shows across the country. I mean I could be wrong but like I said earlier I have never seen them in the same room

Jori Lehtera Suspected in Finnish Cocaine Ring

So I know what you are thinking, is this part of the plot for a really shitty hockey movie, where the mighty ducks have to reunite to help stop Jori Lehtera from slinging cocaine to the Finnish people? Actually, now that I am reading it, I would 10/10 actually watch that movie. But anyways, bad look for the NHL veteran who is fighting for a roster slot, when a cocaine ring is broken up, it doesn’t look too good when its broken up in your summer home. The main thing we need to consider in this whole situation is this: these allegations only started to show up when a certain member of the team started. Gritty. The teams new mascot, that looks exactly like a muppet who deals crystal meth to truckers exclusively in Kentucky. If you want my take on it, Gritty is framing Lehtera for this, Gritty is Finlands new crimelord and he probably isn’t afraid to kill.

The New Roughing The Passer Rules Flat Out Suck

The picture above perfectly sums up any over the top analogy I could have ever used to describe how I feel about this idiotic rule. I have said it before and I will say it again this rule is ruining the NFL. You’re taking away a huge part of what makes the sport amazing which is monster defensive plays. I understand players need to be protected more than ever, with all the new information we are learning on a regular basis with how the sport of football, and head impacts players suffer can effect a players brain and the way it functions. However, we need a better solution than this, Clay Matthew’s hit on Sunday was a clean football hit, he did everything in his power to not hurt Alex Smith. This rule just opens up a chance for the QBs to start making hits seem way worse than they were (See JPP slapping Big Ben’s helmet and him tragically falling like his spine had been crushed by the impact). I feel like all of the NFL fanbase agrees with me on this, that the rule is detrimental to the sport of football. The NFL needs to find an alternative, and start researching other ways to protect the QB because right now they’re looking like weenie hut JRs in a big way. Leave a comment on your thoughts on this. I will be dropping a Ryder Cup blog once it kicks off, and I’ll drop one tomorrow for sure on the Rams game, reinforcing to you degenerates how much money I win in sports betting.