Cole Beasley Straight Up Doesn’t Give A Shit

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Wow. I mean Cole Beasley is straight up challenging the team to cut him with this. If I was a coach, I would cut him out of spite, but I am a petty asshole, one of the reasons I wouldn’t make a good NFL coach. On the other hand, Beasley kind of has a point here, the Coaching staff wouldn’t dare cut him, because quite frankly they cant afford to lose any of their WRs right now, the Cowboys just don’t pose any kind of a deep threat to opposing secondary’s and they need every player they have right now. But either way, throwing your opinion on how safe you’re on the teams roster in such a public format is never a good look. To quote one of the greatest dodge ball announcers to ever live “Thats a bold strategy cotton, lets see how it plays out for him”

Jerry Jones Is Now One Of The Dumbest Humans On Earth

 

Jerry Jones has just made potentially the dumbest statement of all time, that he sees similarities between the Rams and the Cowboys offenses…. Dementia has clearly set in early. Have you watched the Cowboys offense this year Jerry? The Cowboys offense shows more similarities to the gigantic floating pile of trash floating around the pacific ocean than it does to the Rams currently sterling offense. The Cowboys are 1-2 going into week 4, and are probably going to be 1-3 going into week 5, in all honesty their offense has no excuse to be as poor performing as it has been , seeing as they have one of the best backs in the league combined with the fact that they have a top 3 Offensive line in the league as of right now. The Cowboys have 41 points of combined offense going into week 4, and the Rams have 140 points combined offense with their week 4 game already out of the way. My advice to Jerry Jones would be this, maybe run stupid shit you’re going to say publicly by someone that knows whats going on with Football so that the whole internet doesn’t end up viewing you as a moron.

Rams 38 Vikings 31 AKA I Was Right

First off, I would like to say, if you got your bet in on time, and bet the rams at 6.5, you’re welcome. However, if you waited until the spread shifted to 7.5, that’s your fault you dumb idiot. Also, from the start I will show a bit of humility here (very rare because I am a prick) by saying that I thought the Rams would win by 10, they only won by 7. Also, the fact that the offense consisted of 3 players tonight, those players are Goff, Kupp, and Gurley. Plain and Simple, Goff played way above what I thought he was capable of tonight, by dropping some insanely accurate TD passes like this one below where Goff threaded the needle over 2 defenders heads into Kupps hands. Goff treated the defenders like they were irrelevant to the play.

I mean Goff is like fine wine, that’s aging 10 times faster than it’s supposed to. As they say: wine gets better with age (I wouldn’t know, I drink PBR and whatever else I can get my hands on for cheap). I Will say this, the Vikings played better than I would’ve gave them credit for coming into this game, and have redeemed themselves as a possible contention team for the superbowl. However, the Rams still look like the team that’s going to win the NFC, and possibly the superbowl. Give the Facebook and Twitter a follow. If you don’t, I’ll be sending my bookie after you to break some knee caps

I Know Why Lil Dicky Had to Cancel His Recent Tour

So, from my groundbreaking investigative work I have found out the shocking truth. Lil Dicky is Colin Kaepernick. Or vice versa. Either way there’s a 100 percent chance they’re the same person, or their mom was loose with it. This is the only logical explanation, all I’m saying is I saw Lil Dicky perform at Springfield College one time and Kaepernick was nowhere to be seen. Coincidence? I think not. Lil Dicky had to cancel his tour not because he was working on the new album, but because he was too busy fighting for equality. I mean look at them, same fro, it just seems like Lil Dicky was slinging the ball for San Fran in blackface, and then spitting at college shows across the country. I mean I could be wrong but like I said earlier I have never seen them in the same room

Jori Lehtera Suspected in Finnish Cocaine Ring

So I know what you are thinking, is this part of the plot for a really shitty hockey movie, where the mighty ducks have to reunite to help stop Jori Lehtera from slinging cocaine to the Finnish people? Actually, now that I am reading it, I would 10/10 actually watch that movie. But anyways, bad look for the NHL veteran who is fighting for a roster slot, when a cocaine ring is broken up, it doesn’t look too good when its broken up in your summer home. The main thing we need to consider in this whole situation is this: these allegations only started to show up when a certain member of the team started. Gritty. The teams new mascot, that looks exactly like a muppet who deals crystal meth to truckers exclusively in Kentucky. If you want my take on it, Gritty is framing Lehtera for this, Gritty is Finlands new crimelord and he probably isn’t afraid to kill.

The New Roughing The Passer Rules Flat Out Suck

The picture above perfectly sums up any over the top analogy I could have ever used to describe how I feel about this idiotic rule. I have said it before and I will say it again this rule is ruining the NFL. You’re taking away a huge part of what makes the sport amazing which is monster defensive plays. I understand players need to be protected more than ever, with all the new information we are learning on a regular basis with how the sport of football, and head impacts players suffer can effect a players brain and the way it functions. However, we need a better solution than this, Clay Matthew’s hit on Sunday was a clean football hit, he did everything in his power to not hurt Alex Smith. This rule just opens up a chance for the QBs to start making hits seem way worse than they were (See JPP slapping Big Ben’s helmet and him tragically falling like his spine had been crushed by the impact). I feel like all of the NFL fanbase agrees with me on this, that the rule is detrimental to the sport of football. The NFL needs to find an alternative, and start researching other ways to protect the QB because right now they’re looking like weenie hut JRs in a big way. Leave a comment on your thoughts on this. I will be dropping a Ryder Cup blog once it kicks off, and I’ll drop one tomorrow for sure on the Rams game, reinforcing to you degenerates how much money I win in sports betting.

NFL Week 4 Picks

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Week 4 already? Football season goes by way too fast, I know its unrelated to this specific blog but professional football should be played year round, these guys are making millions of dollars a year, I’m sure they can manage. Alright, to start this off I am not going to write about every match up, I am only going to write about match ups that I am dropping some bucks on. Let’s start off with Thursday night football this week the Minnesota Vikings at the Los Angeles Rams, I just talked about how the rams are my lock for the NFC in the Superbowl, they are playing incredible football right now and I think Sean McVay and Jared Goff are capable of bringing them there. The Vikings on the other hand, just got blown out by the Buffalo Bills who going into week 3 were considered the worst team in football. I like the rams on this to exploit the Vikings defense and win by at least 10, I am putting money on the Rams with a -6.5 spread. Next game I want to talk about is the Cincinnati Bengals at the Atlanta Falcons, Falcons have a -5 spread for this and the Bengals still don’t have Joe Mixon to create an efficient running game, also AJ Green isn’t performing the way he normally does. The Falcons however just came off of a huge game, yes they lost but they put up some serious points on offense with Julio Jones and Calvin Ridley who is working his way towards a astounding rookie season and is the best rookie WR in the NFL right now. This games going to be tough fought for the Falcons with their defense facing so many injuries, but I think their offense right now is good enough to pull of at least a 6 point win so I am putting my money on the Falcons. Alright now coming up on my slap in the face spread of the week which is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at the Chicago Bears, The bears are a 3 point favorite. Exfuckingscuse me? The bears do not have the capability right now to do serious damage on offense, the hardest part of this game for Tampa Bay will be for the offensive line to keep Khalil Mack away from Fitzmagic. I’m not even going to show this spread any love, I’m betting the money line on Tampa Bay. Moving on to the Seattle Seahawks at the Arizona Cardinals, Seahawks are going to be playing against Josh Rosen, who is a rookie QB that I just don’t have any faith in, also when you call yourself the “Hebrew Hammer” I am going to naturally hate you, you have to earn that nickname bud and I’ll let you know when you  have done that. I am taking the Seahawks on -3 point spread, expect the Cardinals to still be winless going into week 5. Last Sunday night game we’re going talk about is the New Orleans Saints at the New York Giants. The Saints are favored at 3.5 against a New York Giants team that just looks like hot garbage, their only win of the season comes from a win they scraped together against the abysmal Houston Texans. Saquon Barkley and OBJ are absolute weapons, but when you have one of the worst Offensive lines in the league It doesn’t create many scoring opportunities. Now the Saints on the other hand looked spectacular last weekend in their overtime win against the Falcons, they have the ability to create countless scoring opportunities (expect an even deadlier offense in week 5 when Mark Ingram returns to the lineup) and their defense is going to tear into the Giants. Last game I am going to talk about is this weeks Monday night football game, the Kansas City Chiefs at the Denver Broncos. The Chiefs are favored at 4.5, I feel like this one just really speaks for itself. Now, I don’t know if Vegas is thinking of a different Kansas City Chiefs, but favoring them only by 4.5 is nuts, its tantamount to giving away free money because while Showtime Mahomes is slinging the ball for Kansas City, garbage teams like the Broncos just don’t stand a chance. Expect the Broncos to get destroyed like Lil Xans tummy after some flaming hot Cheetos. I am putting my money on the Chiefs it’s my lock of the week. There are some other really good games this week, but none that I feel confident putting money on. Give the twitter a fucking follow for the love of god @degensportsblog. Leave some comments on what you would like to see another blog post on today.