Shoutout to the DameTime! Network, a podcast network run by my good buddy Duke Large. I’m going to be starting my own podcast called Just Dingers with two other dudes. We’ll be talking all the hot shit about the MLB and I’ll probably give some hot takes. If you enjoy my blogs, then definitely check out the podcast too. I’ll be posting a link when the podcast is up and running. Stay tuned folks ⚾️
Opening Day is just a few weeks away and I can smell the sweet scents of freshly cut grass and pine tar. Baseball season is upon us, and all the people who don’t care about it can slob on a knob. Following the recent free agent signings of Machad-hoe and Harper, we can finally start predicting how the season will go. This will be a lengthy blog, so stop reading now if your attention span can’t handle it.
This guy is a good dude. After wearing number 34 with the Nationals since 2012 he’s deciding to wear a different number after signing with the Phillies on a 13 year, 330 million dollar death sentence.
Manny Machado made his extremely anticlimactic free agency decision by choosing a 10 year, $300 million deal offered by the Padres, the largest free agent signing in MLB history. His other possible destinations were Philadelphia and Chicago (White Sox).
Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton were supposed to be masters of the piss missile this season. They were supposed to be an unstoppable force in the American League. Not to mention to potent lumber that Gary Sanchez and Didi Gregorious provide. That’s at least 4 Silver Slugger bats there, right? Wrong. The most powerful offense didn’t receive ONE award, and one of the reasons why is because 2 Red Sox players got three combined. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw it, but Mookie and JD won 3 combined. JD won a Silver Slugger for DH AND OF, even though he barely patrolled the outfield. He’s just that fucking good. Mike Trout took the other one for outfielders, so Aaron Judge must feel as shitty as he did when his music blasting antics backfired. The Yankees just keep on getting trolled by the Red Sox and this century is looking like the tables will turn and the Yankees will be looking up at the Sox on top of the world. Yankees Suck.
What a fucking time to be alive! Boston has won their fourth world series in 15 years. The Dodgers couldn’t even compete with us, it was a totally one sided series. To top it all off, we finished them off in LA which is icing on the cake.
Hey Manny, we get it. You like being a huge douchecock. First, where it all began, you slide into Pedroia’s leg and cleat him. Then you bitch and complain when the Sox pitchers throw at you. Douchebagery is rewarded by chin music, it’s a tradition. Then, this postseason, you intentionally Ronaldo the hell out of Jesus Aguilar’s Achilles running into first base. His foot was way too much on the bag, which was a fundamental error, but you don’t need to literally try to slice his tendon in the process. Another completely avoidable thing for non-shitbag players. Then, you decide to steal signs from the catcher at second base and relay them to the guy at the plate. There’s no rule forbidding it, but it’s still a dick move. There’s certain unwritten rules in sports, and stealing our signs is like shoplifting your favorite churro stand. If you were in the Red Sox players’ shoes, you’d be livid. Why? Cause you’re a big fat douche. Next time you complain about the city of Boston, the Sox organization, the balls flying at your douchebag dome, remember that you are a trash human being. Straight garbage emoji. 🗑 I’m glad you’re back in the warm weather of LA where the bullpens aren’t too close (Rick Honeycutt is also a douche). Break a leg tonight, Manny. Literally.
P.S. if you can’t tell, I’m a potty mouth