Texas Tech upsets Gonzaga, Virginia outlasts Purdue, Auburn stuns Kentucky, and Duke shits the bed and finally loses as Michigan State slaps their dick across the Blue Devils’ foreheads. These 4 teams cut the nets and are dancing into the most exciting playoff semifinals in all of sports.
Congrats to all the people who bet against Alabama last night, which is probably 95% of America. Bama is to college football what the Yankees, Patriots, LeBron James, and Duke are to their respective sports. People fucking LOVE when they get embarrassed. You love to hate any team or person that has the most success in their sport and that’s just human nature. Whether it’s out of jealousy or just straight hatred, that’s just sports for you. Bama has been the most consistent dynasty in sports besides the Pats, and they faced Jennifer Aniston and the Clemson Tigers in the title game. Easy win, right? Nope. The Tigers proved last night that the saying “You throw a football like a girl” is actually a compliment, their offense is the best in the FBS, and their destruction of Notre Dame wasn’t a fluke. They absolutely eviscerated Alabama’s defense on the ground and through the air. They held the Tide scoreless in the whole second half. Saban’s team choked harder than Stormy Daniels when she thought screwing Trump was a good idea. As of now, Clemson is the team to beat. And Trevor Lawrence is just gonna get better every year. All he’s gotta do is use some of his illegal paycheck he’ll receive next year to see a damn barber.
Damn, not a lot of kids would walk away from the chance to be the standout QB from their class, but Justin Herbert did, and no one knows why.
Lets be real, Dwayne Haskins was never going to win the Heisman. It was always a competition in my mind between front runners Tua Tagablahblah or the much easier to pronounce name Kyler Murray. From the ease of saying the name alone, Kyler Murray was already a few votes ahead of Tua.
Okay, these Jerseys are fucking dope. Like where the hell can I buy one of these?
The Urban Meyer era is over at Ohio State University after this season. As an avid OSU shit talker, this makes me giddy. Never has a team annoyed me as much as the Buckeyes, and I’m a Boston fan.
3. Notre Dame