Zach LaVine Will Be NBA’s MIP and it’s Not Close

Zach LaVine has been on a tear through the Bulls’ first 14 games. He’s emerging as an elite scorer in the league and he used to be considered some guy who can jump really high and dunk really well. I don’t think anyone saw him scoring 27 points per game at any point in his career, and in his fourth season he’s been going hard. Continue Reading

The Bronx Bombers Must Be PISSED

Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton were supposed to be masters of the piss missile this season. They were supposed to be an unstoppable force in the American League. Not to mention to potent lumber that Gary Sanchez and Didi Gregorious provide. That’s at least 4 Silver Slugger bats there, right? Wrong. The most powerful offense didn’t receive ONE award, and one of the reasons why is because 2 Red Sox players got three combined. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw it, but Mookie and JD won 3 combined. JD won a Silver Slugger for DH AND OF, even though he barely patrolled the outfield. He’s just that fucking good. Mike Trout took the other one for outfielders, so Aaron Judge must feel as shitty as he did when his music blasting antics backfired. The Yankees just keep on getting trolled by the Red Sox and this century is looking like the tables will turn and the Yankees will be looking up at the Sox on top of the world. Yankees Suck.

Pelicans Are Actually a Top Team

The Pelicans have started the season 4-4, but they could easily be 7-1. They’ve lost to the Trailblazers, the Nuggets, and the Jazz all without their best player in Anthony Davis. The Brow played 41 minutes in the loss to Golden State, but he didn’t play in their other 3 losses. Their front court is absolutely stacked. Ever since Nikola Mirotic shaved his face bush he’s been incredible, and Julius Randle looks like a much better fit in NoLa than La La Land. Not to mention their back court is studded with Elfrid Payton and Jrue Holiday with Tim Frazier coming off the bench. Everyone has been producing without Davis, but when he’s in the starting five they are damn near unstoppable. If you think the Pelicans suck, then watch a fuckin game and stop depending on going on the ESPN app once in a while to get your facts. They looked stellar last night against Portland despite a double digit loss. Count them in to a top playoff seed in the West and expect them to be favored in almost every matchup they play when they’re fully loaded and ready to grind.

Cavs Fire Coach Lue

An 0-6 start for the Cleveland Cavaliers seems like enough to fire Tyronn Lue, right? The Cavs are loaded top to bottom with prime NBA talent so it can’t possibly be the players’ fault. Isn’t Kevin Love a top shooter/rebounder in the league? Isn’t he a stone cold killer and exceptional leader? And he’s got knockdown shooters like Kyle Korver and JR Smith by his side. Not to mention all the talent that was traded from LA. Jordan Clarkson and Larry Nance JR are basically the deadliest duo since Stockton and Malone. Right? There’s no possible way this 0-6 start isn’t Coach Lue’s fault. He should be ashamed of himself for not being able to successfully coach this band of unstoppable talent. Great move by the Cavs, this should fix all of the problems that they’ve had so far.

Manny Machado: You’re Still a Scumbag

Hey Manny, we get it. You like being a huge douchecock. First, where it all began, you slide into Pedroia’s leg and cleat him. Then you bitch and complain when the Sox pitchers throw at you. Douchebagery is rewarded by chin music, it’s a tradition. Then, this postseason, you intentionally Ronaldo the hell out of Jesus Aguilar’s Achilles running into first base. His foot was way too much on the bag, which was a fundamental error, but you don’t need to literally try to slice his tendon in the process. Another completely avoidable thing for non-shitbag players. Then, you decide to steal signs from the catcher at second base and relay them to the guy at the plate. There’s no rule forbidding it, but it’s still a dick move. There’s certain unwritten rules in sports, and stealing our signs is like shoplifting your favorite churro stand. If you were in the Red Sox players’ shoes, you’d be livid. Why? Cause you’re a big fat douche. Next time you complain about the city of Boston, the Sox organization, the balls flying at your douchebag dome, remember that you are a trash human being. Straight garbage emoji. 🗑 I’m glad you’re back in the warm weather of LA where the bullpens aren’t too close (Rick Honeycutt is also a douche). Break a leg tonight, Manny. Literally.

P.S. if you can’t tell, I’m a potty mouth

Solid Dub for the Nugs

I’ve been a big fan of the Nuggets since Nikola Jokic came into the league. I still have love for Colorado sports since I was born there, besides the Peyton-Era Broncos. The Joker had a near perfect game last night, recording 35 points, 12 boards, 11 dimes, and a perfect 11-11 from the field and 3-3 from deep. It was against the bumfuck Suns, so haters will say it was a fluke. But the next night, they defeat the Warriors to start 3-0 and atop the stacked West. Gary Harris scored 28 to lead his team and Juancho Hernangomez swatted the shit out of some Warriors bum I’ve never heard of to seal the deal. The Joker played well again and has been a top 3 center so far. If he keeps this up, it’s safe to say he’s the best center in the game. Steph Curry poured in 30 points but Golden State could not have beat Stevie Wonder in a 3 point shooting contest. They shot 7-29 from deep, and the recurring theme that they can’t win without the 3 ball continues to be accurate. The Nuggets shot 6-32, which is worse, but their incredible offense can get the job done in other ways. If the Nugs keep it up, lock them in as a top 3 seed in the West. Well done Denver.