Breaking News: Robert Kraft Charged With Soliciting Prostitution

So? It was at a massage parlor. America was built upon the foundation that if you go to a massage parlor you can get some rub n tug action and feel no shame even if you’re crazy old and I will defend that freedom until I die.

Listen, do I love the idea of a 77 year old dude getting a HJ in some backstreet massage parlor? No, it’s super gross. However, I get it, and I feel bad for the dude. Imagine you think you’re about to get some sloppy toppy and next thing you know some dude named Matt (who is a total fucking narc) is throwing you in cuffs. Honestly, I think this might be a setup job by other teams in the league to try to take one of the holy trinity away (Brady,Belichick, and Kraft) however they didnt this kind of shit makes us stronger, you just guaranteed a 16-0 regular season for us. Free Kraft, and long live massage parlor HJ’S.

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