Ellen, you have no god damned right to shave off the legend that was Julian Edelman’s beard. I didn’t watch the episode so I don’t know the full context of the situation, but I don’t give a shit. I don’t care if it was his idea, that he gave her permission, none of that. That beard was a national treasure. You could have just gave it a little trim or not even have touched that mane at all. Not every man, let alone Super Bowl MVP, can maintain such a luscious fucking chin masterpiece like that and now it’s just wiped from existence. I feel like beards like that should never be fully shaved off. It’s a waste of time to grow it and have some middle-school privileged boy looking bitch molest it with an electric razor. Now Edelman is just some random clean shaven guy who is good at hands and legs. He’s no longer a part of the rare breed of dudes with really long dope beards. Fuck you Ellen, how bout I shave off your stupid little boy haircut and see how you like it. Such a damn shame. I hope Jules grows it back and never lets anyone but him decide it’s fate ever again.
UPDATE: Figured out the context, he did it to raise 10,000 dollars for charity. Still pissed off though