Manny Machado: You’re Still a Scumbag

Hey Manny, we get it. You like being a huge douchecock. First, where it all began, you slide into Pedroia’s leg and cleat him. Then you bitch and complain when the Sox pitchers throw at you. Douchebagery is rewarded by chin music, it’s a tradition. Then, this postseason, you intentionally Ronaldo the hell out of Jesus Aguilar’s Achilles running into first base. His foot was way too much on the bag, which was a fundamental error, but you don’t need to literally try to slice his tendon in the process. Another completely avoidable thing for non-shitbag players. Then, you decide to steal signs from the catcher at second base and relay them to the guy at the plate. There’s no rule forbidding it, but it’s still a dick move. There’s certain unwritten rules in sports, and stealing our signs is like shoplifting your favorite churro stand. If you were in the Red Sox players’ shoes, you’d be livid. Why? Cause you’re a big fat douche. Next time you complain about the city of Boston, the Sox organization, the balls flying at your douchebag dome, remember that you are a trash human being. Straight garbage emoji. 🗑 I’m glad you’re back in the warm weather of LA where the bullpens aren’t too close (Rick Honeycutt is also a douche). Break a leg tonight, Manny. Literally.

P.S. if you can’t tell, I’m a potty mouth

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