The Bruins had two tickets to Pound Town tonight and apparently they invited the Red Wings to go with them and decided to completely assault them into oblivion. It wasn’t fucking fair. They dropped an 8 bomb on them like its still 1945. A powerhouse like the Bruins should destroy a sorry excuse of a team like Detroit, who came into week 2 of NHL action ranked 29th in power rankings. I just got confirmation from an anonymous source that is not very good. Pastrnak had a hat trick in goals and Bergeron had one in assists en route to their smorgasbord. If we can expect more plays like this from the Bruins, reserve them a spot in the playoffs. Looks like we’re back in an era where Detroit is the laughing stock of the sports world. It makes me giddy that all 4 of Boston’s sports teams are like Viagara, always getting me erect in public places. I don’t care about my Beantown boner, so stare if you want. Looking forward to a double hard-on when the Sox blast the Astros into orbit tonight. All things considered, thank you Bruins for your valiant asskicking tonight.